From the moment she announces that she is pregnant, you can expect to take a bit of a sideline in the shadows, but fella’s its not the end of the world and here are some other things to get used to!
1. Don’t expect anybody to rub your balls and say congratulations to you even though you did help make the baby!
2. Everything you have is not big enough! Be prepared during nesting time to have her yelling and screaming that the house isn’t big enough or the car is too small!
3. You know that hobby that you loved, that got you out with the boys and that she never had a problem with..well thats going to change! I am not saying she is going to lock you up in a cage but just be prepared for her to be a little more emotional when you go to give her a kiss goodbye and head out, thats all I’m saying hahaha
4. Increased sense of smell – during pregnancy her sense of smell will go through the roof! That deodorant she said smelt sexy will now be “when the f#ck did you start wearing that shit! That smells terrible!”
5. Be at every scan and appointment, no excuses! This goes without saying fellas, just be there. Regardless of what she says just be apart of the process it is an absolute miracle!
6. Biscuits, toast and Milo – Make sure you have plenty of arrow root, scotch finger biscuits, toast and Milo because this will be breakfast, lunch and dinner during morning sickness!
7. Enjoy your time while it lasts – I know its hard to enjoy something you have never has stripped from you but just a fore warning, enjoy those sleep in’s until 9am, those late nights watching movies and playing Xbox or PS4 because for the first 3 months after child birth you will be a walking zombie! But don’t stress it doesn’t last forever…for some.
8. “I don’t want that second hand crap” – Second hand shit will not do! She may want brand new everything, so I suggest brother get selling and hustling!
9. Now because she doesn’t want second hand crap – get a good set of joggers fella’s and walk down every isle of baby shops. Yes its boring AF but again be apart of the process, give her your opinion and test drive the shit out of the prams!
10. 12 week scan – The 12 week scan will be the single best day of your life! Seeing a little jelly bean on the screen knowing that you helped make that little baby will really make you feel like a man! Just sit back and soak in the moment guys it is a precision moment.
11. Front rower in the house – After the morning sickness is over she will have the appetite of a front rower! She is know eating for 2, so don’t be a tight ass and get one pizza to share get 2!
12. Don’t let other peoples experiences completely influence you – Some people have what they think is a terrible experience at certain hospitals and that was more than likely because the midwife was having a c*nt of a day! If it is clean and close your half way there!
13. There is high chance you will get fat – Enjoy this time while she eats like a front rower and wants to watch back to back seasons of Suits. But don’t do what I did and thats pack the gym clothes away! Make a point of still hitting the weights or going for a run a couple of days a week! My son is 8 months old and I still have the baby weight lol and its because I’m lazy and spend all free time with my family, but do it for yourselves guys.
14. You won’t pass out or spew! – Yes you will see a lot of blood and a babies head
coming out of a vagina but not for a second will you think it is gross. It is an absolute f#ckin miracle what women’s bodies can go through and seeing that baby coming into the world is one of lifes most precious moments.
And guys I guarantee your love for vagina’s will never die, if anything your appreciation for women’s bodies will increase big time!